Sexually Twisted Doctor's
by Lyrical Soul
Summary: A fic written by me and Allie, humerous and twisted. What's not to love?
1. Chapter 1

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This fic was written by Allie and I, so all credit goes to her as well as me. Thank Brandy for her inspiration and prompting, because she is responsible for this fic happening.

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** Sexually Twisted Doctors: Chapter 1**

Meredith was stuck in the middle, both men whom she cared for calling her name. She was unsure of what to do but she had to think fast. Before she could say something Derek had already began to look at her, with those dreamy eyes that she couldn't resist. He looked away and turned to Finn. "Finn" He said quietly, he had never really given the Vet the time of day but now as he gave him a once over he realised he was rather handsome.

Finn looked at the man who was now looking at him, his wavy hair and his dreamy smile was getting to him. And he swore to himself that he wouldn't let his charm get the best of him.

Derek continued smiling at Finn, one of those McDreamy smiles he often flashed when he was trying to woo someone into bed with him. Meredith looked confused, was there some sort of secret connection between them that she had no idea about?

Finn's lip quivered. His dirty thoughts were starting to get the best of him. He looked away from Derek's face and onto the floor but his presence was enough to launch a rocket out of his panties.

"Derek" Finn said quietly, finally meeting his sexy gaze with one of his own. He couldn't help but want to ravish the brain surgeon right there. Extending his hand he waited for Derek to take it. Meanwhile Meredith's jaw was hanging on the floor, she was shocked. It was seeming as though rather than going home with one of the men she would be going home alone. Derek placed his hand in Finn's and smiled. "Shall we" Finn nodded and the two men began to walk out. "Wait!" Meredith yelled out. Derek and Finn stopped and looked at the woman.

"Finn and I have a very... important meeting to attend." Derek hastily lied. "Surgery on the brains of animals..." Finn nodded, silent as he stood there looking pretty.

"Brain surgery on animals...can I come?" She pleaded, batting her eyelashes, trying to get the men to come to her.

Derek bit his lip. "No... it's held at a guys-only bar. Naked women, drunken slobs, yeah..."

"I don't think you'll like it at all Meredith." Finn interrupted.

"I'm not so sure about that..." Derek muttered so only Finn could hear. Finn quietly snickered.

Meredith sighed, it seemed like neither of them wanted her there, at the beginning of the night it seemed all the men wanted her. She had even slept with Derek in an exam room but now she was left alone and Derek and Finn were going off to have a 'meeting'. She wasn't an imbecile, despite what most people thought. She knew that there was no brain surgery on animals; she had only hoped to get in on a threesome. She watched as the two men walked off, both whispering things into each other's ears. She turned on her heel and made an exit for the hospital, unsure of where to go.

Meredith drove around in her car aimlessly, she didn't have a particular destination in mind. She didn't exactly want to go home, Izzie would most likely be there and she wasn't in the mood to soothe people at that moment when she needed soothing herself. Finally, she decided that maybe Finn and Derek WERE in a meeting, they didn't seem like the gay type. She drove over to Finn's place, much to her surprise the door was unlocked, but all the lights were shut, there was no indication that Finn was home. "Maybe Finn forgot to lock the door..." she thought as she turned the door handle.

Earlier that evening, Derek and Finn had gone back to his place; they had pretty much jumped straight to the point. Forgetting to lock the door the pair of them had run upstairs and immediately started undressing each other. Their tuxedos lay on the floor besides them as they had their own adventure in the bed. Derek was distracted when he heard a voice from downstairs, Meredith liked to talk to herself. Quickly sitting up he pushed Finn off of him and sighed. "I think someone is trying to interrupt us" Finn raised an eyebrow and chose to ignore his comment, going in to kiss the dreamy doctor once more. "I'm serious" Derek stepped out of the bed and grabbed one of Finn's shirts. "Seriously" Finn sighed not being pleased with what was going on.

Derek crept down the stairs, unaware his skin was bare from the waist down. Meredith had flicked on the light and nearly shrieked at the sight of Derek, half naked in one of Finn's shirts. Instead, her jaw dropped open.

"Meredith, I can explain..."

"Mhmm I'm sure you can..." Meredith muttered as she turned around and left, shutting the door behind her.

Derek sighed and headed back upstairs, eager to return to his dear Finn.

When Derek returned to the bedroom Finn was lying in bed sipping on a freshly opened bottle of champagne. Derek was immediately aroused by this sight but remembered that Meredith was downstairs. Before lying down on the bed next to his sexy lover Derek sighed. "Meredith is downstairs" Finn shot up in the bed, the bottle of alcohol being pried from his lips. "Crap what are we going to do?" Derek shook his head unsure of how to solve this problem.

"I suggest you go downstairs and talk to her" Finn nodded his head and followed his sexual partner's advice. Pulling his boxer shorts on he headed downstairs. To his surprise Meredith was gone, saved Finn the trouble of explaining that Derek was far easier to get into bed than Meredith. Heading back upstairs he smiled devilishly at Derek who was giving him the dreamy eye. "She left" Derek smiled and looked at Finn, raising an eyebrow. "So Dr Shepherd what should we do?"

Finn made his way closer to the handsome doctor that stood before him. His muscular body begging to be touched, slowly he inched closer to the Derek, leaning in he offered Derek the chance to remove his boxer shorts. Derek reached over and slid his fingers into the waistband of Finn's boxer shorts and tugged at them, his lips pressing against the mans body. Finn had never contemplated having sex with another man before but he had never met Derek Shepherd before. And it wasn't like this was so different for Derek either, he had plenty of fun nights with his 'best friend' Mark. They always found each other a little more than just friends.

Shivers made there way up Derek's spine and he felt himself getting increasingly tense in the lower region. He could also notice a certain rise in Finn's boxer shorts, as he pulled them down he couldn't believe why and how he had missed this man before. Every time he brought Doc in for a check up he just dismissed him because he still had some feelings for Meredith but after seeing Finn in all his naked glory the idea of sleeping with Meredith was becoming less appealing. Meredith was some surfboard and Finn…well Finn he was just well hung. Pressing his lips against Finn they embraced in more ways than one.

xoxox

Meredith felt abandoned. She thought she was loved by 2 men and she would have to do the choosing. Who ever imagined that those 2 men would pursue each other? Well, feeling suprisingly horny, she cooked up a little plan of her own.

She drove on the highway, a little over the speed limit but at this time of night it was quite deserted so nobody was watching her. She was outside Seattle and into the woodlands. Expertly manipulating through the dense forest, she arrived at a quaint trailer with a dim light shining through the windows in one end.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of her car and opened the trailer door and shut it with a bang. Addison Shepherd was seated on the bed, sipping a martini as she pulled off the leggings from her long limbs. Addison blinked at her in surprise, somehow she assumed Meredith would be out with Derek.

Darting towards the tiny shower, Meredith opened it and turned the dial. Water cascaded down the nozzle like rain. "Get in the shower with me." she purred as she pulled her shoes off.

Addison narrowed her eyes when the initial shock wore off. "How the hell did you get in here? The trailer door was fucking locked."

Meredith was a quick stripper. She had peeled off her black prom dress faster than you could say 'sex'. "Get in the shower with me. You wanna have hot sex?" By now she was completely naked.

Addison rolled her eyes with disgust. "Get the hell out of here!"

Meredith wasn't about to take any more rejection that night, and she had been lying to herself. Addison Shepherd was hot and she wanted her, but Addison wanted no part of this sick and twisted coercion. Addison put her martini down and stood up. "I said get the hell out of here not fucking get in the shower and plead for sex."

"Aww" Meredith pouted, refusing to budge.

"I'm serious I don't want to call the cops on your ass. Now get the hell out" Addison moved closer to Meredith, her hands held out infront to shield her eyes from the disgusting sight that was Meredith Grey's body.

Meredith's flag started flying, expressing her excitement. It popped out distinctively from her lanky body.

Addison had yet to notice her genitals but as she saw it stand to attention she practically threw up. Holding her mouth she placed a hand firmly on Meredith's shoulder and began pushing her towards the exit of the trailer.

"Ahh what are you doing!" Meredith shrieked.

"I'm kicking you out" Addison kicked open the door and began to push Meredith out of the trailer but Meredith was bracing herself within the door frame not wanting to leave the attractive red head behind.

Leaving one hand against Meredith's neck as a way to prevent her from entering the trailer, she grasped her cellphone out of her pocket with the other hand and called the police.

"Please just give me a chance I'm really quite the stallion in bed" Meredith reasoned not wanting to move from her position. Any further rejection would push her over the edge and she did not want that.

"Oh I'm sure Derek knows you are." Addison retorted bitterly.

The words were backed with acid and stung like being hit with a wet towel. Addison held nothing but contempt for this woman and wanted her out of her sight. How did she have the nerve to show up in the trailer after having had sex with her husband on the night of prom? This was the last straw and the only thing keeping Addison from snapping her neck was the prospect of being arrested.

Addison's thoughts were soon interrupted when she heard a siren blaring in the distance. Less than a minute later, 2 police cars showed up at the trailer with 4 angry-looking men stepping out. Meredith, at this point, was outside on the grass, Addison had kicked her ass out for good.

Addison sat in the trailer feeling rather pleased with herself. It had taken her a considerble amount of strength to finally kick Meredith out but she did. Upon kicking her boney ass out she threw her clothes in the oven and set them alight, leaving Meredith out in nature nude. The police each raised an eyebrow when they saw Meredith huddle over, covering her manhood...or woman hood...or hermaphordite hood.

Owls were up in the trees surrounding the trailer, but swiftly fleed at the sight of Meredith. Apparently there was a memo going around the forest telling each and every creature to run and hide for the sake of their eyes.

One of the policemen threw up when he saw the shrivelled weiner that was Meredith's penis. The other two policemen placed their arms around the sick cop and consoled him. All having seen the one thing that would be forever burnt into the minds. They would never be cops again and would have to undergo serious therapy.

Meredith turned a deep shade of red. "Bring me away officers..." she ordered meekly.

"Please wrap this around your waist man...I mean m'am" The officer held his jacket out to her, his eyes shielded from her disgusting body. Meredith on the other hand was trying to woo the officer's, she was already aroused by Addison and the idea of an orgy in the back of a cop car was sounding very appealing.

Addison grinned with satisfaction as she watched the cops drag a struggling Meredith into the car, wearing sunglasses to avoid the disturbing sight of her body. Meredith had tied the jacket to her waist obediently, but the knot was loose and the jacket fell off.

The two officer's in the front of the vehicle covered their eyes and kept their eyes straight ahead. Unfortunately the officer's in the back had wound down the windows and were throwing up, fumbling around to tie the jacket back around Meredith's lower region. "So boys anyone up for some fun?" Meredith arched an eyebrow and smirked. The driver gagged and started the ignition.

"It'll be lots of fun when you get out of our car and into jail." One of the officers broke in.

Meredith winced and closed her mouth. Clearly she was not getting laid again tonight or anytime soon. "Thank god she shutup" Said one of the officer's as they drove out of the woods and towards the city to lock Meredith up, or castrate her. Back at the trailer Addison laughed to herself. "I wonder if Derek knew she had a penis."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sexually Twisted Doctor's - Chapter 2 **

Apparently at some stage during the evenings antics between Derek and Finn, Derek had done some obscure form of the Milkshake, his signature dance that had always attracted his former lover; Mark towards him. However now Mark was in New York so there was no way he would pop up in Seattle, but somehow it managed to happen. It was 3 am when Mark awoke; it was as if his spidey senses were tingling, he sat up abruptly and smiled devilishly to himself.

Minutes later he was in Seattle. How the hell that happened... nobody knows. He raced wildly through the long, narrow streets in hopes to find his lover. He did the Milkshake dance to inform Derek of his arrival.

Derek pushed Finn away from him; he was sleeping so he didn't notice the sudden shift in the bed. Sitting up his grin went ear to ear; he became excited and raced out of the bedroom, pulling his jeans on in the process. Never in a million years had he thought Mark would come back to him, considering the events that had transpired but now was his chance to prove to the man that he loved that he still did in fact love him. Derek once again did the milkshake to signal that he knew and then proceeded to wait eagerly.

"LOVER!" Mark smashed open Finn's front door and ran up the stairs. Eagerly heading to the bedroom, his jaw dropped open at the sight of Derek next to another man. "You... cheated on me!"

Derek's jaw dropped just as Mark's had done and he tried to speak but Mark had cut him off. "I…I didn't cheat! You cheated on me remember!" Derek said, quickly becoming defensive, he hated to bring up the topic of Mark's infidelity but he also hated how quickly Mark got jealous. But it was one of those things he hated but at the same time loved, it was turning him on and Finn was now waking up. "What the hell is going on!" Finn exclaimed.

"Hey you invited me over to check out Addison!" Mark argued back "She is quite good..." Mark sighed and stared at the 2 naked men in front of him. His sex drive was beginning to get the best of him. "Oh what the hell... I'm coming in..." he said as he stripped off his clothes and jumped onto the bed.

Finn moved over, still a little weary about the whole thing but once he saw Mark's astounding body he just joined in the fun. Derek didn't hold back for one second, as soon as Mark's shirt hit the ground his lips were all over his lover. Finn joined in, letting his new found sexuality get the best of him yet again, his tongued ravishing Mark's body. Mark loved the feeling of being surrounded by hot men and knew this was way better than sleeping with his so called girlfriend back in New York.

Mark groaned loudly. He was enjoying every bit of this. "Doo the milkshake dance Derek..." he purred.

When his lover demanded like that he was unable to resist. "Only for you" Finn pulled back and watched as his lover danced for the new addition in the bed, not only was Mark aroused but Finn soon found himself tensing up in more ways than one. "Ohhhh….god" Mark groaned pinning both men down on the bed.

"Was that good enough?" Derek grinned as he crept on top of Mark's chest. "I see someone's been working out..." Derek swooned, as he rubbed his index finger along the curves of his bare anatomy.

"Derek where did you learn how to dance like that?" Finn asked, his lips peppering kisses all over Mark and Derek's body at different intervals. "Well" Mark started looking at Derek and pecking him on the lips, smiling coyly before continuing. "Back in college Derek and liked to go bar hopping and one of the things we liked to do before getting drunk was dance and he always had that one move that drove me wild"

"Mark's milkshake is coming along quite well..." Derek said proudly as he planted kisses all over Mark's abdomen, eventually moving down to his pleasure spot.

Mark shifted as Derek's lips trailed dangerously close to his member, once his lips finally reached it he groaned. When Finn began kissing Derek on the neck both men became increasingly eager to just finish what they had started. It wasn't long before each of the men were tearing at each other, unable to control their urges any longer.

Derek groaned with desire. "You know," he said to Finn "If you poke Mark's left ball he squeals like a girl."

A few days after the boys antics in the bedroom Mark came storming down the hall of the hospital intent on finding Derek. Derek was standing at a nurse's station and he turned to leave to go to the cafeteria he noticed Mark and smiled. However Mark was not smiling and Derek's expression soon changed. "Mark what's wrong?" Derek asked, his hands resting firmly on his hips as Mark came to a stop.

"Finn is all over my left ball!" Mark hissed

Derek tried to contain his laughter but found it hard, he giggled quietly before Mark slapped him on the arm gently. "I thought you liked being touched there" Mark shot Derek a menacing glare. "Only by you though" He hissed quietly. "What's on the piece of paper Mark?" Derek asked bored by the previous topic of discussion.

"Oh uh... something" Mark sounded all secretive.

Derek snatched the paper and read over it and then frowned. "You have gonorrheae? Where did you get this?" Derek said becoming worried.

Mark hesitated for a moment. "Well... symptoms came a few days ago... it could have been from... not that I'm accusing you of being diseased..." Mark stuttered.

"How would I have gonorrheae, I don't exactly sleep with hookers. Maybe it was Finn" Derek said getting a little frustrated with Mark's accusation.

Mark folded his arms. "I have Finn's test results too, he came by earlier. Who were you sleeping with lately?"

"Addison is the only lady I have been with and she does not have any STD's!" Derek insisted even though he was lying through his teeth.

Mark was fairly certain Addison hadn't been screwing around. Finn hadn't been getting any action lately either, besides with Mark and Derek, Meredith had refused to open her legs to Finn. "Are you sure? Because I didn't get this until I came to Seattle."

Derek sighed, knowing that he would have to own up soon. "FINE I slept with Meredith is that what you wanted to hear? So if anyone is to blame it's that hussy, UGH I knew she wasn't right from the time I slept with her" Derek said now becoming angry at the fact he had STD's and it was all Meredith's fault.

Mark raised his eyebrows. "You SLEPT with her? Damn does Seattle not have any penny whores?"

Derek sighed before playfully hitting Mark on the shoulder and leading him into an empty on call room. "She was good in bed until I find out I have an STD. I hope this doesn't effect our relationship, because I don't know what I'd do if I lost you"

"Did you just say that she's good in bed?" Mark asked in disbelief. "Wow... we are so over..."

"MARK please don't go, I love you, you know I love you…we can work through this baby" Derek pleaded, his eyes welling up with tears.

Fuck you." Mark flipped him off. "I'll just have Finn poke my left ball from now on!"

As Mark left the on call room Derek crumpled on the floor and began to cry. He couldn't believe that the love of his life was leaving him for a vet. A vet that was ridiculously good in bed. Little did Derek know that as Mark was walking down the halls he ran into Meredith. Mark scowled at her. "You have a lot of nerve coming in here, you filthy whore" Mark exclaimed, feeling incredibly hurt.

"What?" Meredith looked confused. "Dr. Sloan... I was wondering if you would give me breast implants. Double D."

Mark was about to tell Meredith to fuck off but then he smirked, realising that a lot of fun could be had giving Meredith breast implants. "Why I would love to give you breast implants Dr Grey. Shall we start a consultation?" Meredith was taken back at how quickly Mark had turned around but decided it was for the best.

Meredith bounced up and down happily. "yay!" she hugged mark and kissed him "thank you!"

Mark pushed her away, almost vomiting in his mouth but he managed to maintain some composure. "Alright come on lets get this examination under way" Mark said almost dreading his decision immediately, just the thought of him having to look at her infested breasts was vomit inducing.

Mark shuddered at the thought of what other infectious diseases she might have carried. Meredith followed Mark, skipping and singing a song loudly, well more like screeching. "I'm getting my boobs done I'm getting my boobs done!"

Addison could hear Meredith from a mile away and shuddered at the thought of her naked body in the trailer. Addison turned back to Izzie who was standing in front of her looking surprising glorious on this particular day. "Izzie have I ever told you that you are particularly attractive?"

Izzie laid down her pen and stared into her mentor's eyes. "Oh nobody is more attractive than you..." Izzie said longingly.

Addison grinned and brushed a lock of hair out of Izzie's face, her thumb resting on her cheek momentarily. She pulled away when she heard Mark's voice coming closer. Acting professionally she assigned Izzie to order an ultra sound for one of her patients as well as slipping her a small note. Izzie walked off and she ignored Mark as he and Meredith walked off towards his office, but Meredith seemed to think Addison had seen her because she screamed her name.

"So. Let's get down to business." Mark said, sounding all professional as he took a seat in a large leather chair. "How big do you want me to enlarge your chest?"

"I was thinking I'd like to go straight to double D's" Meredith said excitedly, sure that if she got this boob job the men would come running. But once they saw her penis they would flee or shoot themselves. "Okay I think we can arrange that" Mark said trying to keep his professional tone.

Mark was trying hard not to burst out laughing. "Orr... advances in plastic surgery have made it possible to go even bigger..." Mark added with a sly grin. "So what do you say?"

"Bigger than double D's! Really oh my god then yes, I'll have the biggest you can give me" Mark covered his mouth holding in the laughter further. "Okay then, well we can arrange a surgery for this after noon if that's okay" Mark was going to have a lot of fun with this.

Meredith did a happy dance on Mark's new desk. It was nowhere near as good as the Milkshake one. "THANK YOU!" She pulled out a coupon from her pocket and handed it to Mark. "Free sexing... usually I charge."

Mark took the coupon and fought the urge to just rip it up straight away, he was also tempted to push her off his desk but because of lability issues he fought that urge as well. As he ushered her out of his office he began to crack up laughing. Meredith looked at him quizzically. "What's so funny?'

"Nothing just a joke I remembered, I'll page you when I'm ready for your surgery" She nodded then left and he continued to burst out into fits of laughter.

Derek saw Meredith skip off into the hall from Mark's office. Seeing that Mark was unoccupied, he stood by the doorway to apologize. "Mark... I'm sorry... forgive me. I'll let you poke both my balls whenever you want."

"Derek we're over, I'm sorry but there is nothing you can do about it. You gave me an STD there is no way we can be together! Now please leave I have work to do" With that Mark slammed the door in Derek's face and went about making preparations for Meredith.

Derek's face crumpled and he burst into tears. "Fine I don't need you!" he yelled as he stormed off. Running to the nearest cemetery, he grabbed a nearby shovel and dug madly into the dampened soil.

As Derek plunged the shovel into the soil he read the tombstone, it belonged to Denny Doquette, memories flooded back to him, all those times where Derek would linger outside his room, just staring at his hotness. He had no need to be up there, he was Burke's patient but now he would be able to have his time with Denny. Eventually the shovel hit a hard surface and Derek smiled.

Brushing away the rest of the dirt from the dark green casket, he steadily creaked open the heavy lid. There was Denny Duquette, pale and ghost-like. Derek slowly lifted his body out of the coffin and threw the corpse onto his back.

Derek could smell Denny's scent and rather than disgusting him it actually began to arouse him. He rushed to his truck and threw Denny's body in the back seat, eager to find a secluded spot to have his much needed private time with the corpse. Speeding off Derek drove quickly back to the hospital.

Derek parked towards the deserted back area of the hospital. Hoping not to draw any attention, he wrapped Denny's limp body in aluminium foil and dragged him in one of the back doors that hadn't been used in over a decade. To his pleasure, Derek found an empty on-call room with a bed, one that was particularly bouncy.

Meanwhile Izzie had found Addison and was smiling from ear to ear. Addison perked up when she saw the young blonde intern approaching. "Izzie I've been waiting for you" Izzie moved closer to Addison, she discretely placed her hand on her arm and moved even closer. "Izzie…what are you doing?"

"You. Pants off. Now." Izzie stood firmly, waiting for her mentor's reaction.

"Izzie…not here" Before Addison had a chance to pull away Izzie's lips were hard pressed against hers and rather than pushing the intern away she kissed back. Meredith was heading towards a patients room when she saw the intern and attending kissing and felt a wave of jealousy rush over her.

"THAT BITCH!" Meredith exclaimed. Everyone within earshot turned to look at her strangely. "She is MINE!" Meredith went up to Izzie and pathetically bitch slapped her on the cheek, which was more like a flick to the wrist. "Wait till I get those boobs..." Meredith muttered under her breath.

Izzie looked at her colleague with shock and sighed. She was not in the mood to be dealing with her pathetic room mate and just longed for Addison's lips. Addison rolled her eyes and pushed Meredith out of the way, Meredith fell to the floor and just looked up in horror as Izzie and Addison began to kiss passionately, their hands roaming each other. The entire hospital watched in awe, the male nurses becoming aroused and the females unsure of how to feel.

Derek popped out of nowhere, frantically searching for a glove to increase his sexual pleasure. His eyes widened at the sight of Addison and Izzie, making out and feeling each other up.

He could feel his pants tighten around his manhood and he blushed, looking around no one had seemed to notice his appearance, he took this opportunity to escape the scene and return to his mouldy lover. Denny's corpse rested on a bed and Derek began to strip down. Everyone would think this was disgusting but they didn't understand his urges.

Derek was a man with strange cravings. He was relieved that nobody was around; he could work Denny in whatever manner he wished.

Back in the hallway things started to become increasingly hot, Izzie's hands were venturing up Addison's top, Addison let out a soft moan as she began to unzip her skirt, Izzie pulled her scrub top off and began grinding her hips into Addison's. The crowd was growing larger around the pair and Meredith began whimpering as she watched the kissing fledge into nudity and escalate further.

Addison pulled the drawstring on Izzie's scrub bottoms, revealing red and blue Hello Kitty underwear. Izzie slowly undid Addison's bra, letting the black garment fall gracefully to the ground. Izzie groaned as Addison caressed her neck, slowly making her way down to Izzie's chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Mark Sloan grinned evilly as Meredith Grey was put under heavy anesthesia. Grabbing a scalpel off the tray of surgical instruments, he slit a small incision on her chest. Finn came rushing in the OR, panting heavily as he held up 2 bright orange basketballs triumphantly.

It was as though Mark had been possessed by a mad scientist because as his current lover handed him the large orange basketballs he cackled madly and began to insert the larger than necessary breasts. The nurses looked apprehensive as he continued with the surgery, they were unsure if this is really what Dr Grey had in mind. A few hours later, Mark was making the closing incisions and he smiled proudly to himself as he looked at the new and improved Meredith Grey.

"Wake up dear" Mark feigned kindness as he gently shook Meredith awake in post-op. Her anesthesia was slowly wearing off, and Meredith awoke, groggy and barely aware of the world around her. "How do you like it?" Mark wanted to be there for her reaction, he didn't want to miss it for anything in the world.

Meredith looked at her blurry surroundings, waiting for things to come into focus before she reacted to Mark's question. As things came into focus she looked down at her chest, her hands felt around the large breasts that were definitely hers, she winced in pain and continued to glance at them. She then proceeded to look up at Mark with an ear to ear smile. "These are perfect!" She squealed.

"Glad you like them." Mark smirked. Now he just had to wait for the reaction of everyone else at Seattle Grace. He walked to the nurses' station and spotted a very distraught Derek. "What's wrong honey?" he asked, setting his anger towards him aside.

Derek was frustrated with the news of all the STD's he had acquired from his stint with Meredith, not only that but he was caught in the exam room with Denny by some nurse's who had called the police and now he was facing charges. So when Derek heard Mark's voice he couldn't help but smile. "Everything is just going wrong…" He said with a sigh.

"Aww honeybunches..." Mark pulled Derek into a comforting hug while feeling up his ass. "Oh look...another thing wrong..." Mark pointed at Burke and the Chief chatting as they walked side by side...a bit too close.

Burke had always looked at the Chief in a way he wasn't supposed to; even while he was with Cristina his gaze would drift over to him if he were in the vicinity. It was something about his tough exterior that made him attractive, also the fact that Preston knew he was a teddy bear only made the attraction stronger. So as he walked alongside his mentor he would occasionally let his hand brush against the Chief's thigh. "Burke what are you doing?"

Burke chuckled uncomfortably. "Chief...I don't believe that I have ever told you how I feel about you?" He let his hand slide from Webber's thigh around to his ass, stroking the area gently.

The Chief wasn't sure how to take this groping, he would be lying to himself if he told himself he didn't like it but he didn't want his colleagues seeing any of this behaviour. Slapping away Burke's hand he led him into an empty patient's room and sighed. "Preston, what is going on? You know you can't touch me like that"

"Oh but I just can't resist..." Burke purred flirtatiously. He had never felt such a strong attraction to anybody before, it was a strange but totally welcome feeling. "You know, I know some secret places in his hospital that we could run off to..."

"Burke…" Richard giggled giddily, never had anyone made him feel this kind of rush of excitement before. Before he had time to answer Burke's suggestion his colleague's hands were furiously exploring his body, sneaking under the top he was currently wearing. "Mmm" Richard groaned in acceptance of what Burke was doing. There was no turning back now.

"So...we doing this?" Burke whispered lowly into his ear, not expecting a response. They both knew what the answer was, and headed off like 2 giggly teens heading off on their first date.

"I wouldn't dream of it" Burke continued to help remove Richard's clothes and kissing him fervently. The Chief was no longer scared about doing this because he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. Meanwhile, Addison and Izzie had found their own secluded hide out and were busy feeding grapes to each other in amongst the various other things they were doing. "Have I ever told you how hot you look when you wear your hair down?" Izzie said, gazing into Addison's eyes.

Addison smiled. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are without your clothes on? You should do that more often."

"I would but you know there isn't much privacy in this place" Just as Izzie was about to remove her scrub top to show some skin off to her new girlfriend but just as she began lifting her top up she saw two extremely large ball shaped things bounding down the halls outside of the room they were in. "What the hell are those?" Izzie exclaimed, leading Addison's eye towards where the two large ball shaped things were.

"Holy shit...that's Meredith." Addison couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Oh I bet you Mark did it; he's known to pull off stunts like these."

Neither of them had enough time to hide before Meredith had seen them and had burst through the door, her new and improved breasts bouncing around. Izzie tried to stifle the laughter; they looked as though they would knock Meredith out. "Hey guys" Meredith said in an almost seductive tone, her basketballs nearly popping out of her top.

"Hi Meredith!" Addison greeted brightly, unsure of what else to say. "Umm...I see you're trying on a new look." she said as she eyed Meredith's balled chest.

"Yeah I decided I need to increase my cup size! So what do you guys think?" Addison looked at Izzie who was turning bright red from trying to contain her laughter. Addison elbowed Izzie in the ribs and she looked up, trying to think of a response. "Oh…yeah they are great! Definitely suits you" Addison nodded in agreement. "Yeah, definitely" The situation suddenly became awkward when Meredith pushed Izzie out of the way and took Addison in her arms.

"Come on baby...I know you want these." Meredith growled, her desire burning. She pinned poor Addison up against the wall, Meredith pressing her chest on hers.

Addison was struggling to breath, the pressure of Meredith's now expanded chest was crushing her own and not only that her larger than life breasts were rubbing against her mouth. "fdgfyug" Her words were muffled but Izzie was able to see the desperation in Addison's eyes, Meredith was too distracted with letting her hands molest Addison's body to realize that Addison was struggling to breathe.

Izzie, all charged up for a fight, grabbed Meredith by the shoulders and pulled her away. Meredith looked at Izzie curiously. "Oh Izzie...I'm sorry. I know you're jealous...would you like to go first?"

Izzie's jaw dropped in shock and she let her hand swiftly move across Meredith's face as she slapped her, Addison was gasping and now looking at Meredith with fury in her eyes. A gathering of hospital staff was beginning to form outside the room and Mark and Derek watched as the women continued to fight. "Mark…what did you do to Meredith?" Derek said cautiously, his hand squeezing Mark's ass in the process as they all watched the commotion, no one jumping in to stop it.

Mark grinned mischievously "Hey...she came to me demanding for the boob job. Look at what she paid me in." He pulled out the coupon, handed it over to Derek, who cried laughing.

Mark wasn't impressed by Derek's reaction. "Babe it's not funny, I had hoped she would have at least paid me in money not some coupon that makes me want to throw up" Bailey stormed down the hall and burst through the door, as the woman wrestled, well Meredith smothered the two other doctors with her new assets Bailey began pulling them away from each other. "What the hell is going on here!"

"Well you could always bill her insurance." Derek quickly added as he turned to face Bailey. "Why hello Dr. Bailey!" Derek greeted cheerfully.

"Don't play dreamy with me McDumbass, why hasn't anyone stopped this fight?" Bailey said sternly going to open the door to the room but Mark pulled her back. "And what do you think you're doing?"

"It's a catfight. These things happen all the time." Mark grinned smugly. "Dr. Bailey...are you interested in a boob job? They are my specialty..."

"No you fool, my damn boobs are just fine!" Bailey pulled away from Mark and opened the door just like she had planned and broke up the fight quickly, she pulled Meredith off of Addison and Izzie and looked at the three doctor's with a frustrated glance. "Why are y'all fighting like this!"

"She's trying to kill me!" Addison pointed at Meredith and screamed hysterically. "Get her away from me!"

"Grey, outside now! Addison why the hell would Meredith be trying to kill you?" Bailey was curious as to what the hell was going on.

"She's jealous of her amazingly good looks." Izzie broke in before Addison had a chance to speak.

"Alright Stevens, you out too!" Izzie trudged out of the room sighing, Addison waved good bye to her new found lover before looking back at Miranda. "What the hell is going on in this damned hospital?"

Addison shrugged. "Why are you asking me? First my husband and my ex-lover have an affair, Meredith gets these gigantic boobs and here I am with Izzie Stevens hoping to have a little privacy!"

"What's next? The Chief and Burke get together!" Just as Bailey had said that Burke and Richard were prancing down the hall hand in hand, and Bailey's eyes just widened. "Seriously!"

Addison gasped. "The Chief and Burke?" she asked in disbelief, not seeing what Bailey was seeing. "You're bullshitting me aren't you. Next you'll tell me that Derek dug up Denny Duquette's body to have sex with!"

If things couldn't have gotten any crazier the police came in and arrested Derek. "Dr. Shepherd, you are under arrest for defiling a corpse and vandalizing a grave site" Mark's jaw dropped and Bailey's mouth continued to gape wide open when she watched this. She turned Addison around so she could watch the horror unfold as well. "WHAT THE HELL!" Addison gasped.

Bailey shook her head. "Told ya the hospital's gone crazy." She turned around, only to see Izzie brutally strangling Meredith with her two bare hands.

"Awww Hell no!" Bailey rushed out of the room and broke apart the two interns and held them away from each other. "Seriously, Grey you are to go work in the pit for the rest of the day…you and your new toys are not to hurt anyone any more. Stevens, you..you need to stay away from Addison, she is still married"

"Hey!" Addison pretended to take offense to Bailey's last comment. "My husband is cheating on me, don't I have a right to have an affair too?" She pointed at Mark and Derek, Mark was yelling at Derek for the Denny Duquette incident.

"Derek, I thought you had stopped with all this infidelity?" Derek looked at Mark sheepishly as the police began to cuff him, as they began walking away Derek turned to face Mark. "I'm sorry babe but you were with Finn and I felt lonely…I'm really sorry"

"Aww..." The police officer swooned and put his handcuffs away. "You people in love...all charges dropped! Go have sex now, and don't forget to use a condom" he said as he walked away.

Derek raced to Mark and threw his arms around him and peppered kisses all over his cheeks. "Lets not fight again, I really do love you" Little did they realize that Finn had been walking down the hall with a basket of muffins to surprise Mark but now a lone tear rolled down his cheek and he turned the other way and ran into the stair well.

George was walking aimlessly in the halls, Bailey was too distracted with the all the crazy of Seattle Grace to give her interns their assignments. He walked pass the stairwell and saw a weeping Finn clutching a small basket. He felt compelled to help, maybe it was his nature, or some sort of physical attraction. Regardless, George walked up to Finn, and asked "What's wrong honey?"

Finn tried to hide the fact he was crying quickly when he heard George's sweet voice, he looked up at the man and smiled weakly. His face was all red and blotchy and George knew he had been crying and he placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled sweetly. "Everything has just been going wrong, first Meredith sleeps with Derek, then Mark goes back to Derek, why doesn't anyone love me?"

George plopped down next to Finn on the stairs and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "No matter what..." he began boldly "I will always love you." He planted a gentle kiss on Finn's cheek. "Baby I want to have your kids..." George whispered in his ear.

Finn didn't feel shocked when he heard those words instead he felt relieved, and he looked longingly at George and returned his kiss with one of passion on the lips, George reciprocated quickly. He had wanted to kiss Finn ever since he'd met him for the first time and he had never imagined that he would be kissing Finn so soon. "George…you're too good for me…"

"No..." George purred. "Come into bed with me..." He pointed to an empty on-call room right across from the stairway. "I'll arouse you like no man has ever been aroused before..." George winked.

Who was he to turn down a man like George, he nodded and stood up and took George's hand. George led him to the empty on call room and slammed him into the bed; there was no need to contain their passion any longer. As George tore into Finn's clothes he began to cry, George became nervous thinking this would be a repeat incident but he didn't know that Finn was crying tears of joy. "Finn…why are you crying?"

Finn shook his head wildly. "No...no...it's not you!" He turned his head to the side and stared at the blank wall. "It's just...nobody has been so nice to me before! George O'Malley..." He took a second to sob "I love you..."

Derek was sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding a pregnancy test in his trailer, it was an anomaly there was no way in hell he could be pregnant but he had all the symptoms, this would either make or break his relationship with Mark. He had already come to terms with the fact that he and Addison were over; she was off having some affair with Izzie Stevens anyway.

He wondered how he was going to make this thing work. If it was indeed positive, he would want the best on his...highly unusual case. And that would mean going to Addison and explaining all the details, which he was quite reluctant to do.

Derek picked up the pregnancy test, it had been 90 seconds like the instructions on the box said and he was nervous as hell. The knot tightened in his stomach and took a deep breath before looking down to see the result of the test.


End file.
